Thriving Alcohol-Free with Mocktail Mom

EP 116 | Redefining Happy Hour: Mocktails, Rituals, and Second Chances

• Deb, Mocktail Mom • Season 1 • Episode 116

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In this special episode, I am joined by Abbie Romanul from Raising the Bar to discuss our special collaboration for May's "Yo Mama" box, featuring exclusive mocktails honoring motherhood in all its forms.

• The Yo Mama box features signature drinks: the Lavender Daughter and the Strawberry Daughter
• We both share how we escaped "mommy wine culture" and found healthier coping mechanisms 
• Abbie reveals that alcohol "romanticized" her life, but sobriety allowed her to find genuine beauty in everyday moments
• Six years into sobriety, Abbie now ships thousands of mocktail kits monthly through Raising the Bar
• We discuss our favorite alcohol-free rituals, with ready-to-drink options being convenient go-to choices
• For those questioning their drinking: observe your feelings and get curious about what you're trying to escape


• Join us for a live Zoom happy hour on May 22nd at 8:30 pm Eastern - free for everyone

  • To order our May collab box, use the code MOCKTAILMOM for a discount, and click HERE to order. 
  • To attend our free Happy Hour on May 22nd 2025, RSVP HERE. 



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Deb:

Buckle up, friends, and welcome to the Thriving Alcohol-Free Podcast. I'm your host, deb, otherwise known as Mocktail Mom, a retired wine drinker that finally got sick and tired of spinning on life's broken record called Detox to Retox. Let this podcast be an encouragement to you. If alcohol is maybe a form of self-care for you, where you find yourself dragging through the day waiting to pour another glass, I am excited to share with you the fun of discovering new things to drink when you aren't drinking and the joy of waking up each day without a hangover. It is an honor to serve as your sober, fun guide. So sit back and relax or keep doing whatever it is you're doing. This show is produced for you with love from the great state of Kentucky. Thanks so much for being here and big time cheers. Okay, hey friends, it's Deb. Welcome back to Thriving Alcohol-Free. Are you surprised to hear from me? This is a little, a little pop-up episode. I'm so excited I have Abby from Raising the Bar. You guys already know her. You love her. She was my guest on episode 101.

Abbie :

Abby, how are you, I am great. Thank you so much for having me. How are you, deb?

Deb:

I'm so good. I'm so happy you're here. I'm actually on a little break right now for my podcast, but I wanted to have you on. I wanted to drop an episode to share the big news of our partnership for May, for our May collab box. I am so honored to be partnering with Raising the Bar. Thank you so much for having me.

Abbie :

We could not imagine a better partner than Mocktail Mom for the month of May. So thank you, oh, thank you.

Deb:

It's been so much fun and I love that we the drink names for the box the Lavender Daughter, named after my daughter well, in honor of my daughter Lily. And the Strawberry well, in honor of my daughter Lily. And the strawberry daughter in honor of my daughter Hannah. I love them Very fun, so the box is called Yo Mama.

Abbie :

Yo, mama, let's just get it all out there.

Deb:

Right.

Abbie :

We've been having fun with this we have. I know Mother's Day and the whole month of May can be a challenge for a lot of people, whether they have a strained relationship with their mom or, you know, they have lost a mom and my mom passed last year and this is still very much on my mind and I think you know what we wanted to bring to the table with Yo Mama is that you know, there's the moms of the friend group, there's the plant moms, there's the fur moms, there's, you know, the nurturers and the caregivers. So this is a celebration of all of that. However, you identify whoever's in your life and that's what we're trying to do this month.

Deb:

I love that. I love that. Yes, it's a box of joy, no matter where you are in your relationships and in life. Yes, yes, okay, I actually made the strawberry daughter, which is so delicious.

Abbie :

I feel joy just looking at how festive and vibrant that looks.

Deb:

It's so good. And the main hero I guess the hero ingredient of this drink is the Sweet Haven Tonics Strawberry Basil, Chili and Chili, which is phenomenal Like I cannot speak highly enough of that ingredient. And the lavender syrup that's in the lavender daughter drink is delicious from Portland Syrups.

Abbie :

It's delicious and I think you know, when people taste the drinks and open the box, I hope they feel that joy, I hope they feel that celebration because it's it's a beautiful time of year. I feel like we're all coming back to life with spring and I think the flavors that went into this. We talked about this on episode one, so you shared your story, the background story of raising the bar.

Deb:

But many moms, you know, turn to wine to cope or connect. I know I did for sure. Yeah, what helped you rewrite that story and find healthier ways to kind of decompress or cope manage?

Abbie :

Yeah, Well, yes it's a huge challenge and the whole mommy wine culture and how heavily, especially as women, were marketed to. As you know, alcohol can be the solution to how challenging and overwhelming life can feel. I 100% bought into that. I felt that way before kids and after kids. Especially that kind of moment, which felt like an opportunity for myself, seemed so important and I think, like many of us do, we found that, oh, this actually isn't serving me. Actually, this is getting in the way of me being present both with myself and with my kids and my family.

Abbie :

And you know how do we rewrite the script a little bit and it took a long time for me and I don't have all the answers. But the big part for me was I needed something that allowed me to feel like I was still having a ritual, enjoying something special, but it wasn't detracting. And that is kind of where the concept for Raising the Bar came from using the idea of a ritual, of a drink, of the creativity of mixology, to really give yourself pause out of a drink of the creativity of mixology, to really give yourself pause out of a busy life. But yeah, I think it's something so many women can relate to the daily challenges and stressors and how alcohol can feel like it really takes the edge off and helps things, and we both had that moment of waking up one day and being like, oh my goodness, this actually is not helping the way I thought it was.

Deb:

Yeah, yeah, not serving me, and I think that's the question, cause it's not necessarily just about, like, actually in the beginning I didn't want to stop drinking, I just wanted to cut back, I just wanted to moderate. So maybe somebody in that place, they just want to drink less and this gives you the box, the zero, and I think about that I think we might've talked about this before too, Like maybe in another lifetime.

Abbie :

Would that have been my path, where I could have cut back or moderated? I think we're in this really interesting climate where there are more options and not everything is black and white For me. That's not something I need to go back and revisit. I feel really confident where I am now, but I think I think you're right. Like for some people, I think the all or nothing might be too overwhelming to even dip your toe in, and this landscape of really having an opportunity for everybody to explore their relationship is very exciting to me.

Deb:

Totally, and to have to receive a box in the mail and to have the products. How to make it, a playlist to go along with it? I mean the recipes. It just makes it so easy. It's beyond pressing the easy button, it's the easy button.

Abbie :

Everything is so hard. There's so many lists and things to do, and that's such a great point. What we want to have in this experience is we help you do that discoverability piece. We curate these things, our partners help us do that and we try to give you something really special, that you don't have to do all of that brain work when you're already doing so much.

Deb:

Yep, Yep, it's so good, yeah. And then then you can try new things. Try new things because even if you're, you know, still maybe drinking cocktails, you can have some zero proof cocktails and see you know, just see how delicious.

Deb:

They are so okay. One thing, though, I do hear and I think both of us have heard a lot is like I could never give up alcohol. I felt that I mean there was. That was not on my radar screen. I'm kind of accidentally sober. Really, what surprised you most? You know, when you stopped drinking. It's actually added to your life.

Abbie :

Oh, I love that. So I think one of the things that in hindsight I really realized was alcohol really romanticized so much of life for me and I thought that that was what it was. And now I realize we can romanticize our own lives, we can find beauty and meaning in all of these moments and alcohol is not like the catalyst for that to happen. So I think for a long time I was stuck in this mentality that alcohol is this catalyst for good or fun or interesting, worthy things to happen. And now I realize that that was just a crutch and it was a story I was telling myself. So once I kind of settled into an alcohol free world, I think I just woke up a little bit like colors were brighter, you know, feelings were more intense and some of it was hard and some of it was great. But I definitely understand that perspective because until I was really ready, that wasn't something I ever considered was an option for me. I couldn't have imagined it.

Deb:

No, no, I was going to say okay, could you have ever imagined cause you've been alcohol-free since Six years, now Six years. Could you have ever imagined, like seven years ago, right when you're drinking your wine? Whatever? Could you ever imagine right now that you're mailing out thousands, thousands of mocktails, zero-proof cocktail kits?

Abbie :

every month. I think about that all the time, like I just turned 40 and I think okay well what was I doing 10 years ago?

Abbie :

What was I doing 10 years before that? And when I think about life in these decades, I'm like, oh my goodness, so much can change in a seemingly short amount of time. And yeah, 10 years ago, never in a million years I wouldn't have understood why somebody would do that. And and I feel like I have in many ways been given the second lease on life where not only have I had the opportunity to to enjoy life alcohol free, but it's given me this meaning and purpose and opportunity to to share with others and hopefully provide some hope and encouragement that life doesn't end after alcohol and I know that is what you do for your audience too. And, um, having people like you to look up to and learn from and take inspiration from is, I think so, so important for people who are at the beginning of their journeys.

Deb:

Totally, because I mean, I remember starting, I could not imagine going getting through the first weekend. I could not have. I mean I didn't think I was going to make it through the first weekend, let alone a week or 10 days, like double digits without a glass of wine.

Deb:

I'll never forget it. I mean, and there's someone on my women in my membership one gal just celebrated a hundred days, one gal just celebrated 50 days and we just get together and drink mocktails, but it's like it's so. I remember that so well, even though now, 1500 days or 1600 days later, it's vivid Totally, and those early days.

Abbie :

I feel like those milestones are almost more important because they do seem so hard to process. But I still have my.

Abbie :

My husband gets me little chips every year, so I have my six year chip right here and I think it is so important to continue to celebrate those, because what can feel like okay, now this is just who I am? No, it, it. It was hard, fought right Uh to to get here and um, but I, I really love this idea of those early wins and getting that momentum and and that confidence as you go, um, continuing to celebrate, Celebrate and, and this kit is perfect um to celebrate your own success or to celebrate somebody else.

Deb:

Maybe it was having success, you know, maybe this is a. This is a great gift to send to somebody. Send one to yourself as a gift to celebrate your wins, because, right especially in the beginning, it's so hard, it's so hard, it's overwhelming, it's so hard. I remember wanting to lay down I mean literally lay down, on the floor at Trader Joe's in front of all the Chardonnay, the white wine aisle, and I wanted to flail around like please do you miss me? Oh, my God, it is.

Abbie :

It's like you've broken up with this ex who's like had so much fun with but like ultimately like they're not very nice to you and you deserve better.

Abbie :

Um, but I I remember the beginning, so I quit around the holidays and I had all this time in the evening. I was like what do I do with all that? I had no idea. Like just drinking gets you either locked into the couch or you're you know, just doom scrolling or whatever. And I remember the early days I painted several rooms in the house Cause I was just like what do I do with myself? And I was like, okay, I can, I can do stuff.

Deb:

I can do stuff and accomplish things.

Abbie :

I have time and energy and bandwidth, and that you know I'm. I think some of that is in the beginning quite novel and six years later I'm like okay, there's other things I have to push through for sure. Yes, but I think that was really exciting and I think a lot of people are surprised when they realize like, oh, wow, there are some really quick wins to be discovered here If you let yourself be open to them.

Deb:

That is so true. Quick wins. Yes, you will feel them. Yeah, that was why I started my Instagram 10 days into alcohol free, because I was like I was like I was so bored at night and people were saying like, oh, I'm doing, I'm now doing these adult coloring books and I'm doing puzzles on my dining table and coloring books. And I'm doing puzzles on my dining table and I'm like I hate puzzles, I don't want color, no interest. And I was like, well, maybe I'll make some videos and start sharing about. Here we are.

Abbie :

Finding drinks. Here we are, Drinks we're finding. So yeah, so fun.

Deb:

Okay, I love the hashtag that you guys use, that Raising the Bar uses, and your Instagram handle is at weareraisingthebar, so if anybody's not following please follow along to Raising the Bar. We are Raising the Bar and your hashtag is redefining happy hour, which I think is exactly what you were just describing.

Abbie :

It encompasses exactly what you guys are doing. It's perfect. Oh, thank you. Yeah, I think that's that's exactly right. Like a big place that I was coming from when I first was on this journey is feeling deprived, like what am I not going to get to do? What am I missing out on? And the pivotal reframe for me was that redefining happy hour. Like what? What are the good things to look for? Happy hour is is for everybody, celebration is for everybody. That social connection is for all of us, and the more we can look for the gifts that were given from this, rather than the things that are taken away, I think, the easier the journey is.

Deb:

So true, so true, and being just a space of gratitude for this opportunity. Yeah, it's a new lease on life in a lot of ways. It is Okay. We know that rituals are everything like in the zero proof space. Do you have any favorite alcohol-free rituals or mocktail moments or kind of your go-to? What's your go-to like wind down maybe?

Abbie :

Yeah, you know, for me, I I love mocktails, obviously. However, over the past four plus years of working on this business, I have really started to enjoy cooking in the evening with a ready to drink, whether it's a non-alcoholic beer or ready to drink cocktail. You know we work so hard on recipes and sourcing products that for the daily ritual it's something accessible, easy, instant. And it's also a nice chance, like while I'm getting ready for dinner with the kids, to kind of feel like, okay, my, my day, my daytime is over, now my nighttime starting. So so that's one for me. What's yours these days, love?

Deb:

it. Well, it's so interesting you say that, okay Right, because I mean in the beginning it was making mocktails and it was. That was the focus. Yes, now I feel like I've like, like you, I definitely reach more for the RTDs, the ready to drinks more so, probably, than anything, even though I did make my daughter a mocktail last night, but we got out the blender you know we actually made. I made her a peach.

Abbie :

Something had rum, peach, non-alcoholic rum oh, that sounds great yeah.

Deb:

Lil loves. Lil loves the mocktails, but now I probably reach for the RTDs, and the non-alcoholic wines is probably my go-to. Yes.

Abbie :

Yeah, and like that's the thing, like if that was a thing before, it still can be. It just happens not to have the alcohol. But yeah, it really is that visual cue. It is that you know putting it in the lovely glass, pouring something out of a bottle, it's all of those things that are, you know, allowing you to be intentional with with that drink.

Deb:

Yeah, yeah and it I feel like it does help kind of transition from like, cause I work from home so it's like that daytime to like.

Deb:

Okay, now I'm in the other part of the house or you know I mean, I'm still in the same part of the house, but I've transitioned over to my evening routine. You know it's a challenge. Yeah, okay, if somebody is listening today and they're maybe quietly just questioning their drinking or just feels out of sync maybe with how they're coping which I know, like both of us have gone through hard, like many, we've all gone through hard challenges what am I saying? You know, what's one small but powerful first step you would share from your own experience?

Abbie :

So I think most of us who have struggled with alcohol or substances, we are self-medicating, whether or not we're aware of it. So we're trying to escape something, we're trying to numb out from something and I think when we are taking that first step, just giving yourself the opportunity to, like, observe your feelings. It sounds so simple and so corny, but what are the thoughts going through your head, what are the kind of urges or defaults that you would typically go to, and can you sit with that discomfort for a little bit and just get quiet with yourself and listen? And I think the biggest thing for me, this whole journey is like, oh, wow, I'm like getting to know myself again. I've been drinking since I was a teenager and there's a lot of myself. I didn't get to know because I was quieting all of it. It was simpler, faster to quiet than it was to get curious and to try to understand where I was actually coming from.

Deb:

So, true Boy, just to observe how you're feeling.

Abbie :

Yeah, it sounds so to observe how you're feeling. So I remember like when I would reach for that first drink in the evening, it was like okay. I'm uncomfortable. I'm uncomfortable.

Deb:

Reach for it, okay. Okay, now we're all good. Now I can deal with you. Okay, no, it's not all good, so that's.

Abbie :

That's what I would say. Just just get curious with yourself and be patient and listen to yourself.

Deb:

That's so good. Okay, I'm super excited, one of the well I love. I'm so excited to be doing this box with you, but we're going to do a happy hour, a live happy hour together on Zoom on May 22nd.

Deb:

Everybody's invited. Whether they bought a box or not, they can come to the happy hour. Bring whatever they're drinking or get order the box. We're going to make the drinks on the Zoom. We're making both of the mocktails, the zero proof cocktails. Yes, we're making the drinks and um, okay, yes, do you want to do? You want to share anything? I haven't done it. We haven't done a happy hour like that. No, we haven't. So I'm really excited.

Abbie :

I think one of the big things that we want to do more of this year with raising the bar is just bring that community piece to life. And, you know, we show't have to be making drinks from the box. You can have a glass of water, you can whip up your own thing. We just want to chat with people and give people the opportunity to share a drink from wherever they are. So yes, it'll be Thursday, May 22nd, 8.30 Eastern. We will send out a Zoom link. There is no fee to attend, it is free for anybody. But we will ask for RSVPs and we'll be doing a giveaway during the happy hour where we'll give away one of the boxes and a couple other special goodies, including your new book which we're really excited about.

Deb:

Thank you, thank you so much. Okay, yes, I'm super excited. Actually, I don't think I even told you I'm going to be in Florida with my husband, so I'm going to be in a hotel room. I'm bringing the box with me. It travels, you can travel, you can bring your mocktails with you. I'm bringing them with me to the very nice hotel he's going to for work, a work event, and I was like he told me he was going on this trip to Florida. I was like Florida.

Abbie :

I'm going with you. I love that and you know what. That's such a great idea. We've had friends, like people, customers reach out and be like can I actually switch my address? For this month we're going to be traveling. We want to share these drinks with our friends. So if you're hosting, if you're traveling and you want to have something at the hotel or the Airbnb, I love that idea.

Deb:

That's so great. That's. I'm super excited. Yes, so next time I see you on camera, we'll be, I'll be at the hotel room yes, Okay, I want anybody who hasn't heard your story, who wants to hear more of your story, to go back to episode one-on-one of thriving alcohol-free of this podcast. You're so inspiring, abby, I can't tell you how much I appreciate just your support and encouragement.

Deb:

All these years. We did a Facebook or Instagram live way back in the day, way, way back in the day, and you are doing so much to help, just continue to raise everybody in this space. You know rising tidal lifts all ships and you are a huge part of that. A huge part of that and so well-respected by everybody in this industry.

Abbie :

Right back at you. This is one of my favorite things about ending up here is connecting with other people who are doing similar things and supporting each other and making sure people are knowing what's out there, because there are so many resources and you're not alone. If you're new to this and exploring, there's people who want to help you and excellent communities surrounding you.

Deb:

Totally, totally Okay, I'm going to enjoy my strawberry daughter Big time.

Abbie :

Cheers to you to the entire team at Raising the Bar.

Deb:

You guys are phenomenal. I cannot wait to see you on our Zoom. I'll put the RSVP link in the show notes. That's a great idea. Yeah, we'll get that for you. Okay, perfect, I'll put that in the show notes If anybody wants to RSVP and come join the party, and then I'll also put the link to ordering the box discount code mocktail mom, if they want to get a little discount or pay retail. It's worth it. It's worth every dime. People, all right, love you.

Abbie :

Abby, thank you, this was so fun, this was so fun.

Deb:

Big time cheers to you for tuning into the thriving alcohol-free podcast. I hope you will take something from today's episode and make one small change that will help you to thrive and have fun in life without alcohol. If you enjoyed this episode and you'd like to help support the podcast, please share it with others, post about it on social, send up a flare or leave a rating and a review. I am cheering for you as you discover the world of non-alcoholic drinks and as you journey towards authentic freedom.