Thriving Alcohol-Free with Mocktail Mom

EP 135 | Liberation Not Deprivation in Sobriety with Kristin Martinez of Queen City Sober

• Deb, Mocktail Mom • Season 2 • Episode 135

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An episode to remind you that sobriety is not about deprivation but about choosing freedom and fuller living.

My guest today is Kristin Martinez, a passionate sober content creator and founder of Queen City Sober. Kristin shares her personal journey through grief, motherhood, and reclaiming joy without alcohol, highlighting how community and creative non-alcoholic drinks transformed her life. Discover practical tips, heartfelt stories, and a delicious adaptogenic mocktail recipe that celebrates sobriety as an empowering and liberating path.

In this episode:

  • Kristin’s story: overcoming grief and mommy wine culture to embrace sobriety
  • The role of community and support in her sober journey
  • How she navigates social events and out-and-about moments sober
  • Making non-alcoholic drinks fun, creative, and satisfying
  • The impact of redefining sobriety as liberation, not deprivation
  • Practical tips for beginners and sober-curious listeners
  • Favorite non-alcoholic brands and mocktail recipes
  • The importance of processing grief without numbing
  • Upcoming plans for Queen City Sober
  • How sobriety opens more time and deepens life experiences

Timestamps: 

00:00 - Welcome and introduction to Kristin Martinez and her sobriety journey
02:05 - Starting with community support and her role as a sober content creator
04:36 - Making her signature mocktail: The Leibner After Dark
10:04 - Kristin’s sober milestone: 603 days alcohol-free
13:05 - Addressing mommy wine culture and societal expectations
15:13 - The grief of losing her grandmother and self-medicating with wine
19:26 - Recognizing the signs that prompted her to get sober
26:46 - Grieving her grandmother sober and processing feelings authentically
30:09 - Favorite non-alcoholic brands and mocktail inspirations
31:11 - Out-and-about sober drink options for social settings
32:07 - Kristin’s message: Sobriety as liberation, not deprivation. 


Connect with Kristin:

Mocktail Recipe Shared by Kristin - Livener After Dark: 

1. Fill a highball glass with ice
2. Add 2.5 oz Three Spirit Livener, 0.75 oz lime juice, 2-3 bar spoons cocktail cherry syrup to glass, and 3 dashes New Orleans-style bitters, we used All The Bitter. Code MOCKTAILMOM for a discount  
3. Stir well to combine
3. Gently top with Blueberry Hibiscus Topo Chico sparkling water, pouring down the bar spoon (any hibiscus, dark cherry, or berry sparkling water works—or even plain sparkling water in a pinch)
4. Gently stir to combine
5. Garnish with fresh lime wheel + cocktail cherry

Send me a message about the show!

Join the community of mocktail-loving ladies in the Mocktail Social Club. 

 You are loved. Big Time Cheers!

Welcome & Guest Introduction

SPEAKER_01

Welcome up, friends, and welcome to the Thriving Alcohol Free Podcast. I'm your host, Deb, otherwise known as Mocktail Mom, a retired wine drinker that finally got sick and tired of spinning on life's broken record called Detox to Retox. Let this podcast be an encouragement to you if alcohol is maybe a form of self-care for you, or you find yourself dragging through the day waiting to pour another glass. I am excited to share with you the fun of discovering new things to drink when you aren't drinking, and the joy of waking up each day without a hangover. It is an honor to serve as your sober fun guide. So sit back and relax or keep doing whatever it is you're doing. This show is produced for you with love from the great state of Kentucky. Thanks so much for being here and big time cheers. Hey friends, welcome back to Thriving Alcohol Free. We have a very special guest today. Kristen Martinez is here. How are you?

SPEAKER_00

I'm so good. How are you?

SPEAKER_01

Good. I'm so happy to have you. It has been so fun to connect with you. You and I've been connected well on Instagram for a while. Your website is Queen City Sober, and we've got connect on Instagram. And then you did the Mocktail Challenge that I ran in October, right?

SPEAKER_00

Yes.

SPEAKER_01

And um, I love having you as part of the Mocktail Social Club. You're in the membership. So it's Yeah, I know.

SPEAKER_00

I had I had a lot of fun doing the challenge, and then I was like, let's continue onwards. So it's been cool.

SPEAKER_01

I love it. I love it. It's so been so fun just to cheer you on, like in what you're doing. So I'm excited to hear today, kind of about what you have happening up there in New York. And um, can I read your bio? Is that all right? And then we're gonna we're

Bio & Mission Of Queen City Sober

SPEAKER_01

gonna make a mocktail together. You're gonna make a you've shared a recipe. We're gonna make a drink called the Leifner After Dark. Yes. And you and I are filming this at like two o'clock in the afternoon, and this has caffeine in it. So yeah, trusting myself to drink this now.

SPEAKER_00

Well, maybe don't finish the whole thing.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I'll just maybe, maybe just taste it. Yes. But I'm super, super excited to try this drink with you. It sounds absolutely delicious. And um, let me read your bio for the people. They all know this is my biggest challenge is reading a bio. Here we go. Kristen Martinez is a sober content creator known for sharing non-alcoholic drink reviews, creative recipes, and personal reflections on alcohol-free living. Through her platform, she highlights the joy, creativity, and connection that can be found in sobriety while helping others explore the growing world of non-alcoholic beverages. She's also the founder of Queen City Sober, a community-focused initiative dedicated to bringing people together and supporting the sober and sober curious movement. I am so happy to have you, so proud of you for like stepping out of your comfort zone and just like just going. I love, I remember, like you said in the membership, somebody was asking you, like, kind of how'd you get started? And you're like, I just started. I love it. I love it. Like you just have to start. Sometimes you just have to go. Yes.

SPEAKER_00

You know, follow your very perfectionist. You know, I get very like, you know, in my head, get very like perfectionism. And, you know, sometimes it's just easier to just start, you know, make it perfect later.

SPEAKER_01

That's true. That's true. As you go, just like, okay, and it figures itself out. You you work it out, and that's what you're doing right now. I'm so proud of you. Okay, we're gonna make

Building The Livener After Dark

SPEAKER_01

our drink today. Uh, this is featured, we're featuring three spirit livenner, not three spirits, like I like to call it sometimes. I know, I do too. It's the trinity. To me, it's the trinity of alcohol-free drinks, but it's actually three spirit, and we're using livener today, is that right? So it's got some caffeine and liven.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, it's got, I think it's guyasa that provides like the caffeine that's okay. Okay, guava leaf, some shasha shoshandra berries, something like that. Yeah. So yeah, it's super fiery, super bitter. Um, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Awesome. Okay, I love the taste of this. Yeah, I've made a couple of drinks with this. So good. And I love their throat, their uh nightcap is probably what I drink the most.

SPEAKER_00

Yes. I don't know. I can't get into it as much. Like I think, well, I also the time I tried it, it was an expired bottle. That could have very much affected it.

SPEAKER_01

Maybe that's was it one for my house? Was I send you?

SPEAKER_00

Did I send it to you? No, no. I just like waited too long to open it. And then I like opened it and I was like, oh no. And but I am not sure.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It definitely has like a that has a like a woody flavor, definitely a little bit of a different flavor either.

SPEAKER_00

So we're gonna fill our uh glass with some ice. Okay, perfect. We don't have to go too crazy because we do have to stir it a little bit.

SPEAKER_01

Okay. Hopefully. I do love a lot of ice.

SPEAKER_00

Yes, me too. So highball glass. Yeah, highball glass, yeah. Tall. This is one I found in a thrift shop. So I got it.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, very nice. Oh, that's very nice. I actually have a little bit shorter one, but yep. Oh, that is so cute.

SPEAKER_00

Yep. Might be a little strong then.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Um, but yeah, so yeah, like about here I've got it filled with ice. Okay. So then I'm going to take my livener, which I have pre-measured here. So I've got two and a half ounces. I'll pour that right in. Two and a half ounces of our livener. Perfect. And then I have uh three quarters of an ounce of lime juice. So you could use fresh lime juice, you could use store-bought. I used a combination. My lime wasn't juicy enough to get uh three-quarters. I had about a half an ounce in my lime, so I added a little extra. But I kind of need the acidity because this is like a pretty intense, fiery kind of drink here.

SPEAKER_01

Okay. So we got our lime juice. I love that that you like mixed the didn't have enough of the fresh, so add a little bit of the bottle. Always have some bottle rim, you know, like great, no big deal.

SPEAKER_00

And then we have our cocktail cherry syrup. So you have the fancy one. I just have like one from Walmart.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, this is just from Trader Joe's. Yeah, this is. Oh, really? I think this is Trader Joe's. Uh-huh. Mine's great value.

SPEAKER_00

So I'm gonna do two bar spoons of some cherry juice. You could do more, but I mean, you'll have a lot of sweetness in there from the livener. Okay. So we got that. Great. Give that a stir. A little stir stir. Mm-hmm. Okay. And then we can just leave our bar spoon right in because then we can take our oh wait. Whoops. My gosh, I almost forgot our bitters. All the bitter. My gosh. Yeah. Shout out to all the bitter. Shout out to all the bitter. So yeah, this is great because it has like hibiscus in it and it kind of goes along with my seltzer, but there's also hibiscus in the three, um, this the livener as well. Yep. So it kind of complements it a bit.

unknown

Great.

SPEAKER_00

But there's also like cinnamon and nutmeg. So I mean, you don't have to use them. There's a lot going on in the livener as it is, but um, we can add three dashes of that. Okay. One, two, three.

SPEAKER_01

Okay. The big question is what is a dash?

SPEAKER_00

I know. So I know. I just finished my smaller bottle, um, which had the droppers. So yeah. So if it was like you have the dropper bottles, it's like a full dropper, is a dash. And then this is like a good shape, a good heavy shape.

SPEAKER_01

Yep, yep, yep. Or a good.

SPEAKER_00

So, okay, now that we have our bitters, our cherry juice, our lime juice, and our livener, give that a stir. Okay. And then we're gonna top it with our seltzer. So, I mean, I really love it.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, yeah, you got the topo chico.

SPEAKER_00

I love this one. It's so good. Um, I heard it might be filled with some microplastics. I don't know, but I like it.

SPEAKER_01

So is everything else unless up.

SPEAKER_00

But anything, you know, like a flavored seltzer. You could use plain seltzer. I just watched it. Yeah, so that'd be perfect. So you can kind of, if you want to get fancy, you can go go down your bar spoon. Oh, very nice. Yes.

SPEAKER_01

Down the bar spoon, people. We learned that a little bit at the Mocktail Summit, right? We learned a little bit about the bar spoon, our bar tool basics. Yeah. And you can give that a little.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, excited to try this. We could try it. And then I also I figured we could do a little garnish. I mean, I have a little lime slice. I didn't even talk about it. Okay. But I have a little lime slice and a little pick here. So I was gonna do a fancy little garnish. I know I've been very inspired by Felicia in the Mocktail Summit. Yeah. These garnishes. So I'm gonna take a cherry from here. Yeah, okay. And then I'm gonna take it, my

Bitters, Bubbles, And Garnish Tips

SPEAKER_00

a little lime wedge, kind of stick it in the middle, and then do let me try to see this here, people. Yeah, stick it through and then kind of just do like a little arts and crafts with your girl. Yeah, it looks so good. And then you can just kind of stick it on top. You know, just have a little fun garnish in there.

SPEAKER_01

That looks so good. Oh, cheers, cheers, cheers. Okay, we have to take a little picture. We'll post this in our membership for the ladies. I was gonna post earlier today to tell them how excited I was to um okay. Let's see, let me grab my glass. Can we do this? One, two, three. Cheers. Cheers, cheers. Okay, all right, here we go. Drink up.

SPEAKER_00

But I'm gonna do a straw because we somehow have a three spirit straw. So yeah, I know. I got excited. Yeah, it's got a little three on top. Got their little logo. It does. So I was like, oh, fancy. That's so perfect.

SPEAKER_01

So, Kristen, thank you for this drink. Yeah. Oh, that is very nice. It's good, yeah. That's really good.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. I feel like I said you need a little bit extra of the lime to kind of balance it out because I mean it can be very fiery, though. I agree with you.

SPEAKER_01

The lime is really nice with it. Yeah. So three quarters of an ounce. Yeah. Cherry juice. And if you want a little extra, add that. Yeah. You can add a little extra of all the bitter.

SPEAKER_00

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01

And I think because I used just plain club soda. I just use like non-flavored or whatever, but I bet, yeah, having that blueberry.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I have a blueberry, like I said, even better. Blueberry hibiscus, but I'm sure like a dark cherry, like I know they do like, you know, black cherry kind of seltzer. That'd be good.

SPEAKER_01

I should have grabbed, I have a Shirley Temple one right now. I bought one of those Shirley Temple like poppies or something like that. I bet that would be good with this too. Yeah.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

The thing I was so afraid of, the Shirley Temple. I was so so afraid of the Shirley Temple. Now it's everywhere. I seem like I love a Shirley Temple. Do you love a Shirley Temple? I do. Thank you for this. Okay, good. Now we get to have a nice drink while we chat. Yes.

SPEAKER_00

I'm so excited.

SPEAKER_01

Want to hear your story. Okay, how long have you been alcohol free? How long have you been on your sober journey?

SPEAKER_00

I just opened my I Am Sober app and I am about 603 days.

SPEAKER_01

So 603.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. So I'm approaching two years in June.

SPEAKER_01

So Wow. Wow. A year and a half. And could you have ever imagined that you would be posting about non-alcoholic drinks and encouraging the sober and sober curious?

SPEAKER_00

No, two years ago. Never have imagined my life would be this way. And you know, I I, you know, attribute sobriety to that. Um, because I feel like it's opened my world so much.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Okay. So I want to talk today. I want to talk about like kind of mommy wine culture, like the myth. I want to talk a little bit about that. And

First Sips & Flavor Balance

SPEAKER_01

then I would love to talk about like finding community and sobriety and then maybe the judgments um, you know, that we, you know, I don't know, we feel, especially like I know like you want to share like a little bit. You're in the healthcare industry, I think.

SPEAKER_00

Yes, yes, yeah. I'm a pharmacist. So I mean, it was very much um scary, I guess, to admit um, you know, that, you know, maybe alcohol wasn't serving me. So that was a bit scary to to put it all out there. But I realized, you know, yeah, why if it helps, and you know, it's not like I'm doing anything wrong by encouraging people to, you know, think about their alcohol intake, but if it helps one person, it's worth it. And I have connected with so many people, even like in real life, like they found me somehow and they're like, oh, hey, you know, this is my story, you know, and gotten to know them in person in real life. So um yeah, it's it's definitely I think that um issues with alcohol definitely affect more people than they're willing to admit.

SPEAKER_01

So true. Yeah, yeah. But there's that feeling of like, what are people gonna think if I tell them I'm not drinking? Right. Yeah. Because I think definitely like the culture has changed, right? So many people aren't drinking now, and like there's definitely like a more openness. I think sobriety is like a word that isn't the same stigma that it did, I think, like 10 years ago, five years ago, maybe. But um yeah, but then to like I remember when I was stopped drinking, it was like I was so nervous to tell people that I wasn't drinking. I was so afraid they were gonna think I had a major problem. Yeah. Why is that?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I mean, I I agree. I was totally the same way. I was afraid of all of that, and I was not sure why. And then, you know, I I kind of just realized, like, well, like most of the time they don't really care. Isn't that true? Yep. You know, um, and you the people who do care typically it's they are they have

Kristen’s Sobriety Timeline

SPEAKER_00

their own questions and you know, doubts about their own alcohol use. Um, because I feel like most of the times people are very supportive and happy, and the people who do push back are usually ones who are seeing it as a threat, like I'm judging them or something. And I think that's they get a defensive about that.

SPEAKER_01

That's so true. No, that's so true. And you're like, I'm not judging you, like I could care, I kind of could care less. Like, do whatever works for you. Yeah. You know, like I was in that boat for a long time. So, like, no judgment, but yeah, yeah, just to be of encouragement that there's another way, especially for people in your industry, you know, like yeah, because I would think it's very there adds like an extra layer there of kind of of judgment or whatever. Okay, so mommy wine culture. Yeah. So you're a mom. How old are your kids?

SPEAKER_00

Seven and four. My my seven-year-old, he'll be eight in like a couple of like months, he'll be eight, oh my god, in j in April. I'm just like so stressed about that. It's crazy.

SPEAKER_01

You're stressed about you're stressed about him turning eight?

SPEAKER_00

Well, just about.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. It's weird, isn't it, to think like eight years ago, right now, like you were pregnant with your first baby. Yeah. So you took you took all that time off from drinking. How was it after you had him? Were you like, okay, back at it? Like that's how I was after chemo.

SPEAKER_00

I was completely yes. Like I was like, yes, but I was also very much like into the whole breastfeeding journey. So I was like, I was very much like, oh, okay, like it's fine. But what happened, um, kind of on you know, very surprisingly is about when he was one month old, my grandma she uh passed away very suddenly. It was like very unlike she was um on vacation in Iceland and she slipped on a black sand beach and

Stigma, Judgment, And Telling People

SPEAKER_00

yeah, like got a had a brain injury, passed away, yeah, in Iceland on vacation. And like my son was one month old. She hadn't even met him yet. And she was very like I was very close with her. We like I lived in the same house with her, grew up, like she was like a second mother to me. And like at that moment, I was like, oh, I don't know how to cope without wine, you know, without alcohol, I need a drink right now. So, you know, that's kind of where it started, uh becoming more self-medication for me. Um, and then yeah, like I feel like it was very much supported by mommy wine culture, you know, like, oh well, everyone else is doing it. Like everyone, like I literally had a glass that said because toddlers, you know, a wine glass that said because toddlers. Like it was so like justifiable. There was yeah, it no one really questioned it at all.

SPEAKER_01

Totally. Isn't that so true? It's like that was like the like the initial domino for you, the grief of your grandmother, right? I'm so sorry. What a traumatic loss. Yeah. And just so beyond heartbreaking. Yeah. Um, yeah, beyond heartbreaking. But um, yeah. So how did you cope with that? Okay, so you had that feeling of like, which I completely relate to. I lost, yeah, completely relate to like I need a drink now. Yes. So you're one month then, he he's a month old, you're breastfeeding. So what did you do? Got some formula. You're like, and and hello, son, here's the bottle. Let me introduce you to your new best friend. You get a bottle, and I get a bottle.

SPEAKER_00

Mommy gets pretty much when you get a bottle.

SPEAKER_01

Okay.

SPEAKER_00

That was pretty much it. I was like, and we're good. I understand.

SPEAKER_01

I totally understand. Yeah. Yeah. Like you kind of like, okay, this is and it is, it's self-medication. And I think for many of us in this community, grief was like a huge trigger for starting to kind of self-medicate. Yeah. And it is, it's supported by everything the tea towels, the you know, the mommy wine, you know, the the glass, you know, because toddlers. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

So it was just very much easy to slip into that because, you know, like I said, everyone else was doing it. It was encouraged, you know, almost felt like. So absolutely. You know, it just, you know, continued to, you know, fuel my, you know, alcohol misuse.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Yeah. So was there some what what kind of happened along the way? Did you have like were there like little things inside where you're like, oh, maybe I'm drinking more than I should be? Or like, what was it that kind of got you to got you to that place 603 days ago

Mommy Wine Culture And Grief

SPEAKER_01

where you're like, okay, I can't do this anymore?

SPEAKER_00

Well, it really, I feel like all kind of started in 2024. Um, it was kind of funny. I was reading like a BuzzFeed article, and this article was just talking about like people who had like uh issues with alcohol, and I was kind of reading it and you know, saying, Oh wow, like that's those things I'm kind of relating to. Like, oh, people are like, oh, I, you know, fell asleep. I don't remember watching this show and I don't remember this conversation. And I was like, oh, well, kind of that kind of I'm feeling like that relates. So then, you know, I was trying, I tried to do dry January and could not, you know, I got like a weekend and I was like, no, this is dumb. I'm not doing this. Yep. And, you know, I started to realize, like, oh, well, like this is actually very difficult to moderate alcohol. And I was trying and I was like, this is impossible. Um, and then, you know, things just were stressful in life. My husband was he was diagnosed with cancer, so I was also dealing with the stress of that. Yes. So um, I was just, you know, self-medicating and I was like, I this is not something I can keep doing, you know. Um, and then I kind of discovered sober Instagram and I started following some people, and I found my sober coach, uh Lindsay Henneke.

SPEAKER_01

And she's coming into the membership next Monday night.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh my god, that's so exciting. Oh, I love Lindsay. Yes, yes. So I found I connected with her. Um and then in it was about April of 2024. I had reached out, I was like, oh, I'm gonna do a one-on-one with her, kind of talk to her. Um, because I was, you know, thinking maybe I am drinking too much. And even my husband had made comments, and obviously I was like, you know, furious about that. I was like, oh no, I'm fine. I don't, I drink.

SPEAKER_01

How dare you? How dare you, right?

SPEAKER_00

How dare you?

SPEAKER_01

How dare you make it seriously, right? Stick with whatever you have going on over there. Yeah. Right.

SPEAKER_00

So um I was going to meet with her, and then I was like, no, this is I'm not I have no problem yet again. Like it was the whole dry January thing all over again. Um, and I canceled it with her and I, you know, I moved on. And then there was a trip I had with my friend, and we spent like a whole night getting completely drunk, and then the whole weekend we were hungover and like wasted a whole weekend. So like all these things were kind of just like ticking in my mind, like, oh, this is like the alcohol is not really adding anything to my life. Um, and then it all kind of came to a head in June. Uh, it was Father's Day actually. And I um had gotten like uh orange juice, bacon, donuts, all the stuff for Father's Day. And I realized like, I don't know, maybe an hour or two in that like the whole carton of orange juice was gone because I was mixing it with vodka. And I was like, wow, like, you know, I my my son was talking to me, sell saying something, and I was like not really even sure. And I was like, what am I doing? Like, what is this? Like, what am I like? Is this gonna just be my life? And I just dumped it out and I was like, I've gotta do something different. Um yeah. So I I admitted that to my husband, and you know, he was very supportive. And then I I reached back out to Lindsay and I was like, okay, let's let's do this.

SPEAKER_01

Wow, wow, wow. What a Father's Day gift to give to him. I mean, truly, like to look back and think like this was Father's Day, and that he kind of like already said, you kind of noticed things when you're like, Yeah, I remember my husband's making little comments. I was like, excuse me. Like, I'm fine, everything's fine. Like, leave me alone, stay in your lane. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow, what a gift, what a gift to be able to like, okay, I'm dumping this.

SPEAKER_00

What am I doing?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And he was thankfully so supportive. You know, I like he, you know, didn't question anything. He was just like, well, I he was just like, Well, but does that mean I have to quit drinking? You know, that was his concern.

The Turning Point: Father’s Day

SPEAKER_00

But I was like, no, like, you know, yeah. Um, and that's kind of where all the you know non-alcoholic stuff came into mind because I'm like, well, what am I gonna drink? If if other people are still gonna be drinking around me, like not everyone's gonna change their lives. So I have to figure out something I'm gonna drink.

SPEAKER_01

So Okay, okay. So that was when you were like, okay, let me figure this out. What am I drinking? Okay. So were you already seeing like a lot of the mocktails and stuff and the non-alcoholic stuff on Instagram? Or you were more on the sober side of Instagram?

SPEAKER_00

I was more on the sober side. Yeah. I hadn't even really, I just like went on the zero proof and I was like, okay, I'm just gonna order a bunch of random things and try them. And yeah, I like had never had heard anything about it before.

SPEAKER_01

Love it, love it. Yeah, okay. And what made you like, okay, let me start like mixing up drinks? Let me start with when did you start your account, your Instagram account?

SPEAKER_00

I started my Instagram account uh about five months uh sober. Um I mean, at first I wasn't posting a ton of recipes, it was just mostly random things. Um but um I just kind of wanted to, like I said, connect with other people and I just saw like the community that was out there and I was like, this is amazing, and I, you know, I want to be a part of it. Um so glad. But yeah, I just started posting and yeah, and I honestly like I was not a very fancy drinker. I was very much like a white claw. Yeah, you know, like so like I, you know, I also didn't use bar tools or anything. So like it's been just a ton of fun to, you know, have fun mixing these drinks and making things that taste good.

SPEAKER_01

Isn't it so funny? Like a new hobby, right? You have all this time now because you're not, you know, buzzed or whatever, zoned out every evening. Hung over. Yeah, or hung over. Yeah, or hung over the next day. Exactly. But it's like you have all this time, and then it's so fun to figure out. Like, I was the same way, like I wasn't making fancy drinks at home. I was like, let me find the wine bottle with the screw top so I don't even have to get out the opener so no one really notices that I'm drinking, you know? Like, let me make this as quiet as possible while I pour my wine. Um, but yeah, like I wasn't making fancy drinks, but it's so fun. And now, like, look at you with your your mocktail recipes that you're bringing, you're like showing up with. Seriously, Kristen, I know it's awesome.

SPEAKER_00

I made the the the mocktail we made with Ian on his happy hour, the the espresso martini. I made it for one of my friends, like and like I was so excited. I was like, because he he tastes the Pathfinder just alone, and he was like, Yep. I don't know. Okay, I don't know about this. And I was like, Let me just make it, it's so good. I was like, This, I mean, like, come. On. It's I was like telling him about Ian. I was showing him the bitters. I was like, this man made this recipe. I'm like, you gotta try it. Yeah. And then he tried it and he was like, this is so good. He's like, you made that with this? Isn't that funny? Yeah. So it's just been so exciting to just like show people, you know, that yeah, yeah, there are still

Discovering Sober Community Online

SPEAKER_00

delicious things to drink, like you say.

SPEAKER_01

And I think like people are so surprised, like like your friend, like so surprising. Like this tastes so good. And I think honestly, like if somebody handed him that drink in a bar, like if he had ordered the espresso martini, hand him that drink, he probably wouldn't know there wasn't alcohol in it. I mean, it just tastes so fantastic, you know, spot on. So good. Okay, so let's talk a little bit about community and kind of like what that's been for you and how that's been of encouragement. Like as you've as you've been sharing and stuff, it's so fun to follow your account.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. So like I said, I, you know, I really started online. So, you know, I had joined Lindsay's like sober coaching group and like that. I was doing that for six months, and like that was a great resource. Um, but then you know, I was like, okay, after that was over, I was like, well, what am I gonna do next? Like, how am I still gonna connect with people? And there are some already sober groups in the area, so like I was getting involved with that, and then I was just like, more people were reaching out to me on the side, just like connecting with me. And I'm like, well, you know, why can't I also have a sober group too? And you know, play in events and do things like that. So um I was like, let me just why not? Let's do it. I have no idea what I'm doing, but we're gonna try it.

SPEAKER_01

I love it.

SPEAKER_00

And it's been great. You know, I've had two events so far and they went, they were wonderful. The last one we had, we did like a human bingo event where or like a game where it was like find someone who matches like the square on the bingo to kind of encourage mingling, and it's been a lot of fun. So great, great.

SPEAKER_01

What do you have on the radar for 2026? What do you want to what do you want to do this year with Queen City Sober?

SPEAKER_00

We I know I have to figure out a lot more details with it, but we are gonna do some salsa dancing. I know that's coming up sometimes. Salsa sober salsa dancing. Yes. Yes. We'll probably have to have some good like adaptogen drinks in it, you know?

SPEAKER_01

Something, yes, yes. Yeah. You need like the drome, the the drome calm, right? You need the maybe the nightcap. Yeah, yeah, something like that.

SPEAKER_00

Well, I was thinking maybe Pathfinder. So yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, yep, yep. That maybe some Kava Haven or something. Yeah. So many good, so many good options. Yes. What's been what what encouragement maybe would you want to share with somebody who's maybe newly sober or just sober curious? Kind of somebody who's kind

Creating Local Events & Connection

SPEAKER_01

of thinking about sobriety window shopping.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. I mean, honestly, it's been so much liberation for me. Um, it's not been deprivation. You know, I like I just there's so much to drink, like I don't miss alcohol, and there's so much that I've done. Um, just not just being able to like I'm feeling I'm less tired. Um, I'm more patient. I'm, you know, in a better mood. Like I'm able to do so much more now that I've got I've eliminated alcohol, it's kind of crazy. You know, I I feel like and it it takes some time. That's another thing. Um I would say that's another thing I would advise people, at least for me, it didn't feel this way right in the beginning. Um, it was definitely hard. It took some time to kind of get there, but it definitely gets there. Um, you you will have more time.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, yeah. It's amazing, right? You have the same 24 hours, but you have more time. Yeah, yeah, for sure. I love that that you said it's liberation, not deprivation, because I think when you're still in the drinking mode, it's that feeling of like, I'm gonna be so deprived. I won't be able to have fun. What will I be able to do? I won't be able to drink anything. And for you to feel liberated is is such an encouragement for people. It's huge. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

I mean, I don't like, I was pretty much just wasting my time on the couch drinking. It's not like I was doing all of these fun things, you know. I I'm, you know, actually living my life now. Um I'm not just avoiding it and you know, numbing out with alcohol because that's what it was that, you know, maybe it started out fun, but by the end it was, you know, self-medication and numbing.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, totally. Has it been different grieving your grandmother now, like on the anniversary of her passing without alcohol?

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

How has that been? I feel like, you know, I use alcohol just to like shut all the feelings down. Um and was trying to avoid them. So like I realized, like, yeah, you have to process things, you know. And I I've been working on, you know, processing, you know, grief. And one my other grandma passed away since that time, but

Liberation Not Deprivation

SPEAKER_00

that was in a much less surprising and tragic way. Yep. Um but still, you know, I realized like, yeah, it's okay to be sad. Um, I think that like yeah, you're you just try to be a superhero all the time, you know. I feel like especially as women, like we try to be super superwoman and you know, everything's fine, you know, everything's good, but it's okay to just say it's you know, I'm not okay and I need a little help.

SPEAKER_01

Totally, totally. Things are not okay. Yeah, yeah. I think you're right. Like, I think, especially as women, it's like so like don't like everything's okay. I'm I'm the one that makes it okay for my kids. I help make it okay for my husband. And it's like at some point we need to say, like, I'm not okay, actually. I'm really, you know, really hurting. So yeah, to to feel that grief, it's so different to grieve sober um when you're not numbing out. Yeah. Um, okay, I want to talk uh before we close. I would love to hear some of your favorites. Um if you have any like favorites that you'd like to share, this is what the people want to know. What are you drinking? What's Kristen drinking? Um, do you have any favorite non-alcoholic beers?

SPEAKER_00

Yes. And non-alcoholic beer? I pretty much like love anything go brewing. They're amazing. Yeah, they're awesome. Yes. Um, of course, I always love the ones that are like they're limited and like I can never get them again. It's like I really love they had one that was like um, I think it was manana banana banana pancake, and it was like maple banana pancake. And yeah, it's gone. There's no more. I didn't have that one. Okay, okay. That sounds so good. But it was so good. Um, but one that they typically have is like their salty AF colada. Yeah. Yeah. That one's good. I like that one a lot. And I've also been enjoying this like a new uh new NA beer company that's out there, uh Bulltown Brewing. Um they're based out of Iowa. And yeah, like they just came out with a blonde that's really good. Just really like easy to drink, good beer. And they're coming out with some other kinds as well. So great, great.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, love that. Love to find new, new brands. New brands. We love that. Any non-alcoholic wines that you enjoy?

SPEAKER_00

I love um the St. Bonavita sparkling white. That's like one of my favorites. Um, it's so crisp, so good, um, not sugary.

Grieving Without Numbing

SPEAKER_00

Like I feel like it's just like it tastes like wine. Yeah. And then for the red, I just tried um, it's called Rewine. It was a red mall back, and it was so good.

unknown

Really?

SPEAKER_00

It was a dark, okay. Yeah, it was really, really good. I brought it to uh a gallant's day, Galantine's Day party. Okay. And um, they had like a rose kind of one and then a red one. And I would I would have assumed I liked the rose better because that's typically what I would go for, but I liked the dark red one. Really? Yeah, it tasted like wine.

SPEAKER_01

Rewine.

SPEAKER_00

Rewind rewine. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

It's a cute name.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. And the it was so like the boxes were so cute. And the box you had to use a an actual wine opener. Like it was not a twist. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

That's how I brought it to a friend.

SPEAKER_01

That's so funny. That's how joyous it is. I was trying to open it the other day, and my wine, I I don't use the wine opener anymore. And it's like one of those charger ones, you know, where like does it pull out the cork, whatever it was totally dead. I'm like, well, that tells you a lot about my drinking these days.

SPEAKER_00

Well, most of them are twist-offs. So yeah, yeah. But I brought it to a friend and she's like, oh, I have to like find my wine opener.

SPEAKER_01

But it's so funny. It feels like you're like, okay, it really is real wine. Yeah, there's a fork in here. Yeah, that's awesome. Um, how about like a non-alcoholic spirit? Do you have a favorite non-alcoholic spirit? Probably the you said the Pathfinder is probably one of your favorite.

SPEAKER_00

I love um, I love the Pathfinder. I love Cava Hall too. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that one's really good. I like the Cava Haven, but like the Cavajal is just like it's a little bit stronger. Um, like I think it has more of the Kava Loctones in it. Okay. And then it's very gingery. And I love I love ginger. I love it.

SPEAKER_01

I remember Derek Santiago talking about that at the Mocktail Summit. Yeah. Shout out to Derek if you're listening. We love you. Uh okay.

SPEAKER_00

Another good one that's just like a can, you know, like ready to go. Is like if you've ever had the busty lush, she's marvelous. It's like the hibiscus chili mezcalita. It's so good. It tastes delicious right as it is, and it's really pretty. Like it's like very pink and pink. I love her cans.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, the busty lush cans are so beautiful.

SPEAKER_00

No, I mean like the drink itself. Oh, the drink itself. Oh, really?

Favorite NA Beers, Wines, Spirits

SPEAKER_01

Not just the cans. Oh, my gosh. I like the cans. The cans are so pretty. Really?

SPEAKER_00

Really put it like in a glass and it's like gorgeous.

SPEAKER_01

Okay. Oh, that's good to know. Okay, good to know. Okay, Busty Lush. She's marvelous, it's called. Yeah. She's okay. How about when you're out and about, if there's not a mocktail on the menu, is there something you ask for?

SPEAKER_00

Um, I usually get like an um, well, typically I will get an NA beer. That's probably like the easiest thing on there. But um, sometimes I'll ask for like an NA mule. Um that's delicious. You know, ginger beer. If they have ginger beer, that's a go. I could have that by itself.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

But yeah, you know, a little lime juice, some mint if they've got it. That's wonderful. And you're ready to go. But I also love Shirley Temple's. Yeah. I went to the bowling alley the other day with my kids, and I was like, my husband was getting, he's like, I'm gonna get a beer. What do you want? I'm like, a Shirley Temple. And he came back with a full picture because like my kids had it too. And I was like, okay, let's go for it.

SPEAKER_01

It's a mocktail party, kids. Here we go. It was literally a picture of Shirley Temple. So cute. That's it was cute. Okay, how fun is that? Like, talk about full circle. That like, here you are, you're bowling with your family. You could have mocktails with your kids, right? Like, what a difference just a few years has made, Kristen, in your life. I mean, really, how incredible. And um, I just so grateful for you to share your story today. Thank you so much.

SPEAKER_00

Thank you for having me.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, yeah. I love having you in the membership. I love being connected and just I'm cheering you on. I mean, a hundred percent for Queen City Sober, everything that you have happening. And I'm gonna make sure everybody's following you on Instagram, the Alcohol Free Alchemist. Make sure you're following Kristen. I'll put her link down below and her website down below. If you're in the New York, what what part of New York are you in?

SPEAKER_00

For I'm like Niagara Falls, Buffalo area.

SPEAKER_01

Niagara Falls, Buffalo. Okay, so if you're in that area, make sure you get connected because you can go salsa dancing and do all kinds of fun things together. So thank you. Thank you, my friend. Big time cheers to you. Cheers. Lots and lots of love. So happy to have you here today. Big time cheers to you for tuning in to the Thriving Alcohol Free Podcast. I hope you will take something from today's episode and make one small change that will help you to thrive and have fun in life without alcohol. If you enjoyed this episode and you'd like to help support the podcast, please share it with others, post about it on social, send up a flair, or leave a rating and a review. I am cheering for you as you discover the world of non alcoholic drinks and as you journey towards authentic freedom. See you in the next episode.